blind

After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

) G$ D2 e) R. ], @* X$ hWhen he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."
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"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"