自由之路 發表於 2013-10-29 22:42 , P& c+ Y% S2 W( O0 y
Because of their size which are tiny, in any spaces which is small, what baby support cushions have ... # @! R- _; J' \+ r U" C2 E
原文:9 H/ ^7 d2 W# g
Having baby support cushions that cradle the body while supporting the head can keep the baby's head from rolling around during transport.+ p: G6 D7 T6 D4 v# i! C" u' p( F
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學員改寫:7 q* y" A& H7 f$ K
what baby support cushions have is cradle the body while supporting effectively for the baby head can keep your baby's head safe from rolling around during transport in your car.
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7 ]' U$ m2 O" }這裡屬於原文稍微難一點,因為較長7 @' k8 m: n/ ~6 s
A can keep B from doing C, q. t: W6 B l
A = Having baby support cushions that cradle the body while supporting the head
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doing C = rolling around during transport) M% L3 a7 k2 M/ F
. @7 F3 w0 B. v0 D但是學員思路是挺好的,我們繼續按照此思路改寫
9 A7 Y: j, C2 b/ [What we have is the baby support cushions cradling the body that can keep the baby's head from rolling around by supporting it during transport.
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, w2 Y# y$ [& Q! N/ i) A! z" U這裡的改寫方法都是樂樂改寫中提到的,這樣改出的句子,可讀性可以和原文對照,基本是一致的,但更核心問題是 樂樂改寫方法,保護了文章內最要的東西,也就是很多自己改寫時候忽略掉的。。。
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