金融危機下新版魔鬼金融字典

如果你有創意，可以找一些域名出來

1 s5 h8 e( u5 `5 \1.The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that..."on the left side, nothing is right. On the right, nothing is left."
; q' A9 T+ e3 o! l! v" G9 {( ^　　2.There are 30 billion prime numbers below 700billion. The rest are all subprime.
1 ^4 u5 ~7 z  w. M- O; h9 t" `　　
1 K# a8 f2 f8 f# O- `　　3.How do you define optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday.
　　
　　4.For geography students: What』s the capital of Iceland? Answer: about three pounds fifty.

$ [& P5 w+ w" q: X! A　　
　　5.What』s the difference between a guy who just lost everything in Vegas and an investment banker? A tie.
　　
- K% q  b' K" G. U5 G# {5 x　　6.Whats the difference between a bond and a bond trader? A bond matures, trader doesn』t.
$ ]4 J1 v3 S8 C　　
; N1 E: x* M- ]+ D) T5 Y- O8 I　　
　　NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS . . .
/ m! z  D- \9 p. m, c4 W* F( x) ]　　
　　CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
4 ~% \* p: c$ ~　　
3 x; w# s: P! ?/ Q9 v1 @　　BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
/ ~) B2 B/ L6 M1 f, _9 z- k　　
　　BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
　　
　　VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
* m+ o0 R7 P1 `: P2 U5 q　　
1 L' P* \( t( P( F　　P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
　　
( S0 ]- J# B: P7 @$ W3 _% x　　BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
# `9 d( e0 m  a+ P; i　　
  W3 O+ v) a# C, ^& Y　　STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
　　
　　STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
　　
% E6 o' g- ]6 h) d& m' a0 v　　STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
　　
6 i5 v6 O9 P& n6 `& o. G　　FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
' M1 T# T6 r5 W) y, _& T6 X　　
　　MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
　　
  w) y7 L/ A5 t1 H; R0 e　　CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
　　
. j- x, b5 h6 ?( |  o+ e+ S) T　　YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
　　
1 n1 E! C1 o! [& R) l+ f& N　　WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you』re the sucker who bought Yahoo@ $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL
0 V3 h( ], X2 M; T　　
　　INVESTOR -- Past year investor who』s now locked up in ant house.
　　
　　PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

學習了，~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

不錯，有些新思路