如果你有創意,可以找一些域名出來. K( `1 V9 R% Y
; m3 s+ @' R) A) |3 H) r1.The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that..."on the left side, nothing is right. On the right, nothing is left."
( R: k6 b: u$ ~/ j8 G+ C 2.There are 30 billion prime numbers below 700billion. The rest are all subprime. 8 y; q, \8 r5 }
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3.How do you define optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday.
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4.For geography students: What』s the capital of Iceland? Answer: about three pounds fifty.
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# b( }) u1 ?. _/ y- [0 b 5.What』s the difference between a guy who just lost everything in Vegas and an investment banker? A tie.
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( P3 K8 `; X" Q: Q9 B 6.Whats the difference between a bond and a bond trader? A bond matures, trader doesn』t.
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NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS . . .
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CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
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: ]" V1 T- |" F7 m: j BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. % R" @: i8 I, b) U( s
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BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
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- M3 ?1 I) B3 ^3 ]2 s VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. : T3 p B$ X# _5 Q
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P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
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" \& F6 g* L4 N% _0 O* v4 P BROKER -- What my broker has made me. # a( g( F* r0 h" f( [5 s
% Q6 p# ~9 G+ j& N9 g5 ]1 N STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
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& F: D) o" z7 M1 T& U STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
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) Y' H7 @5 T9 X6 v; N9 w STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
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FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected. ; f; U6 G \4 p3 R# [( Z
6 j0 q+ i0 A6 @4 G& C MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
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CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. . R$ z$ K: T7 k: t% _
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YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
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* @( g1 t9 Q2 I* h6 P {$ B WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you』re the sucker who bought Yahoo@ $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL 5 @; U! p9 x+ o e
! X" P& b# A9 i/ x- M INVESTOR -- Past year investor who』s now locked up in ant house.
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PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use. |
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