Female Stress Diet, v$ [( H; K1 n
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This is a specially formulated diet, designed to help you cope" n$ C P3 m" _, O/ J# x
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with the stress that builds up during the day:/ O; {) F* I' x
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BREAKFAST:
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1 grapefruit) X& g+ r8 H1 c1 i7 Q+ e
* E/ P* a1 ?8 p1 n" _. M- M# X1 slice whole wheat toast5 c4 O% r7 e, F$ Z1 F: Z9 g
& h" J! \- W! o( T1 cup skim milk
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LUNCH
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Small portion lean, steamed chicken with a
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0 Z7 |" k* y `: c+ Vcup of spinach2 ]7 I9 P' C8 h, f; i
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1 cup herbal tea; w+ f5 x0 I- c* n6 |" n' U
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1 chocolate biscuit
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AFTERNOON TEA0 X; X% F+ r! `4 u
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The rest of the chocolate biscuits in the packet
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2 J) a" }/ H- U2 v$ W5 v- [1 tub of Rocky Road ice cream with Choc-ice topping5 j9 \4 t: o% U- t+ ?+ P7 c
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1 jar nutella
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DINNER
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6 [* Z4 a% X( u$ Z; h ]5 X4 bottles of red wine: I8 Q, s) B/ H' G% w1 Z F
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2 loaves garlic bread
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; z, }: \3 U; y- q, X! g1 family size supreme pizza
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LATE NIGHT SNACK8 \0 K' N" ~0 x7 ]1 j( Y2 y
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Whole frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten, L9 _ L! C. I$ Y
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directly from freezer)
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& ]& ]2 D2 s* ~- NDIET RULES:2 r8 r+ H) k: K! X$ T5 R2 e
5 K- n5 l. L! D* t5 W) W; {) J1. If no-one sees you eat something, it has no calories0 B M) L5 R1 x/ }0 v+ L. G; a
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2. When drinking a diet-coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the# a9 t- K- k) w) g
' E& ]3 H# O. m0 c7 e; \/ T& uchocolate bar is cancelled out by the diet-coke.
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3. When you eat with someone else, calories2 I# m6 i- a: B& Z& d7 k9 Q
0 ^( t8 ?9 v- O. c gdon't count if you do not eat more than they do.
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4. Food used for medicinal purposes does NOT count. (for example:
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$ z* w# D" K3 U$ x1 g$ [chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka)
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& w/ T( z1 {9 @! j6 ]1 q6 Q, Z5. If you fatten up the people around you,' f/ m8 \& g! H
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you will look thinner.
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$ _% ~7 m) p8 F' P6. Cinema-related foods have a zero calorie count as they are part
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of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake.) Z' j! s" U$ s2 s
- X9 D6 E+ M+ ]( y(this includes: popcorn, minties, maltesers, jaffas and frozen cokes)
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7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up* l8 V, ?; k1 K' P1 ^$ v: v% B
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causes calorie leakage.( S) o' F, H* Q2 A/ u
, G% ^0 M% t$ [; E8. Food licked from knives and spoons has
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( t( E# x8 n: r% Z: F. _) \no fat if you are in the process of cooking something.- A3 @9 d0 y! T0 X* }! ~
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9. Foods that are the same colour have the same amount of fat.4 }% y$ P% l- J& ^& b
1 i) x) ?- O9 _" S5 a3 L Y+ [Examples are: spinach and peppermint ice-cream;apples and red jelly snakes., t/ p9 T+ l8 N0 Z$ ~8 f) o
/ @: H! u u8 i [; _5 f. \/ |( }10.Chocolate is a food-colour wildcard
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' N% Q9 j% { pand may be substituted for any other colour.. C% M1 a# u" S# u# b
0 X3 J7 K/ ^4 g; F, B# j; y11.Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity& A3 {( `& U" [+ h* l! y- A& S
$ F, T# R% E5 ]6 d6 ^and the density of calorie mass.
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$ x1 r7 w- h3 o. q" q. {12.Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it
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9 N6 b7 {6 c2 p7 J0 b" Mrightfully belongs to the other person and the fat will cling to his/her plate.3 p5 t: m: @6 p8 ? H0 x1 C; i
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And remember:# d( m ]* l# X: B( E
' W; B& ]- O7 T) _* C; A& _- oSTRESSED SPELT BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS |