Female Stress Diet

Female Stress Diet

                                        This is a specially formulated diet, designed to help you cope

with the stress that builds up during the day:

BREAKFAST:
( K% J4 I  L" F% A- {: h
1 grapefruit

* E/ P* a1 ?8 p1 n" _. M- M# X1 slice whole wheat toast

& h" J! \- W! o( T1 cup skim milk
* K, I% T. M3 W+ x% [$ G( @5 G, @# y
LUNCH
- S# @4 H- F4 r3 ?% l! |- C) E5 P
Small portion lean, steamed chicken with a
6 T, j/ _* ]/ y6 ~
0 Z7 |" k* y  `: c+ Vcup of spinach

1 cup herbal tea

1 chocolate biscuit
# v0 i. h. L3 L0 B% p, \# L4 h# i
AFTERNOON TEA

The rest of the chocolate biscuits in the packet
8 g, l+ l  D7 F, [
2 J) a" }/ H- U2 v$ W5 v- [1 tub of Rocky Road ice cream with Choc-ice topping

1 jar nutella
3 T2 H( a9 F5 {) ~( L7 @0 P
DINNER
9 `/ d) K8 h. ~, Z
6 [* Z4 a% X( u$ Z; h  ]5 X4 bottles of red wine

2 loaves garlic bread
) h1 y1 B$ r: q5 d8 [$ m
; z, }: \3 U; y- q, X! g1 family size supreme pizza
- K5 A/ }- c! ~: c3 W
LATE NIGHT SNACK

Whole frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten

directly from freezer)
; W4 M* ^2 `! u7 n$ `+ o- f
& ]& ]2 D2 s* ~- NDIET RULES:

5 K- n5 l. L! D* t5 W) W; {) J1. If no-one sees you eat something, it has no calories

2. When drinking a diet-coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the

' E& ]3 H# O. m0 c7 e; \/ T& uchocolate bar is cancelled out by the diet-coke.
7 j( }& _3 G  n$ d# ~0 [4 v* O
3. When you eat with someone else, calories

0 ^( t8 ?9 v- O. c  gdon't count if you do not eat more than they do.
9 c1 Q+ P$ a0 U# a
4. Food used for medicinal purposes does NOT count. (for example:
( ^  J* ?& N& ^* E$ g
$ z* w# D" K3 U$ x1 g$ [chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka)
. }  ^5 @4 g6 i4 G- {5 B
& w/ T( z1 {9 @! j6 ]1 q6 Q, Z5. If you fatten up the people around you,

you will look thinner.
- j: c. Z3 t' A, S" }
$ _% ~7 m) p8 F' P6. Cinema-related foods have a zero calorie count as they are part
/ ?& d1 `% M) \- [# f) k( I
of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake.

- X9 D6 E+ M+ ]( y(this includes: popcorn, minties, maltesers, jaffas and frozen cokes)
* }, k8 B6 T+ c+ s: P
7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up

causes calorie leakage.

, G% ^0 M% t$ [; E8. Food licked from knives and spoons has
' K( L+ M& y: P, t- Q7 N6 H
( t( E# x8 n: r% Z: F. _) \no fat if you are in the process of cooking something.

9. Foods that are the same colour have the same amount of fat.

1 i) x) ?- O9 _" S5 a3 L  Y+ [Examples are: spinach and peppermint ice-cream;apples and red jelly snakes.

/ @: H! u  u8 i  [; _5 f. \/ |( }10.Chocolate is a food-colour wildcard
5 l5 x% }' h( V8 z! F/ O  b" K" d: [
' N% Q9 j% {  pand may be substituted for any other colour.

0 X3 J7 K/ ^4 g; F, B# j; y11.Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity

$ F, T# R% E5 ]6 d6 ^and the density of calorie mass.
8 u  g$ V/ k2 d6 Z4 ^5 \; c5 ]
$ x1 r7 w- h3 o. q" q. {12.Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it
: A8 S/ `; W" I* u
9 N6 b7 {6 c2 p7 J0 b" Mrightfully belongs to the other person and the fat will cling to his/her plate.

And remember:

' W; B& ]- O7 T) _* C; A& _- oSTRESSED SPELT BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS